This Ain't English Class

This week's S**T my student's say is on Wednesday because there is so many good quotes, I wanted to give you a mid-week treat. 

To All of my Former/Current English Teaching Friends: (Now I know my writing is not always correct English, but I can at least help the youth talk properly.)



Trying to explain something about economics:

Student "That don't make no sense"

Me "That don't make no sense?"

Student "Ya"

Me "Let's try that again. That doesn't make any

sense"

Student "That's what I said"

Me "No, not quite"

Student "Ya it is"
Now I go to the board and write it out

"That don't make no sense = That do not make no sense"

"That doesn't make any sense = That does not make any sense" 

Me "Which one makes sense? "

Student " The second one" 

Me "Ya, see how 'That don't make no sense' doesn't actually make any sense?"     

The kid just sits there and scratches his head.                              

Same Student
After explaining how you need pens and pencils to do your work. 
Student "Well I bought a me a Sharpie!"  (no, not a typo)
Me "You bought a you a sharpie?"
Student "Ya"
Me "That's not proper English"
Student "This ain't English class"
Me "Great observation, this ISN'T English Class"
Student "So, I don't got to talk good then"
Me "You don't got to talk good?"
Student "Pshhhhh, you makin my head hurt"
Me "You're makin my head hurt"


Me "What are some characteristics of a More Developed Country?"
Student A "They are all High!" (meaning all of the characteristics are High, but that is not how everyone else interpreted it)
Me "Yes we are all High smoking that dope" (Kid turns red)
Student A "I mean, all of the Characteristics are high except for the dead babies" (everyone is cracking up)
Me "You mean the Infant Mortality Rate?"
Student A "YES, they are not High"
Me "Well I hope not!  Babies shouldn't do drugs and neither should you"

Don' t you want to come to MY CLASS!!!  We have FUN!