S**T My Students Say

Student A: "Do we have to lable all of these?"                                                                     
Me: "Isn't that what the instructions say?"
Student A: "Ya...."
Me: "O.K., then label them all"
Student A: "Well what are they?"
Me: "Countries..."
Student A: "Why are there so many?"
Me: "I can make you lable the whole world if you want."
Student A: "No, I mean, aren't there only 50 countries?"
Student B: "That's 50 States you DUMMY!" 

Student A: "Where is Mali?"
Me: "In Africa?"
Student A (100% serious): "Where is Africa?"
Me: "Really?  We are 10 weeks in and you do not know where Africa is?"
Student B: "We are 9 years in and you don't know where Africa is?"


How do you spell France?
F-R-A-N-S
Google Says you mispelled it
Well at least I tried, you didn't


Student A: "Is Rome a country?"
Me: "No, That is the Capital of Italy"
Student A: "Oh, Is Paris a country?"
Me: "Nope, that is the Capital of France"
Student A: "THEN WHAT's A COUNTRY!?"


Me: "Someone please give me a name of a country in Africa?"
Student A shouts out very enthusiastically: "CHINA!"
We all stare at her
(Student A realizes the mistake)



Got Milk?



These children definitely do not. 

I stumbled upon this article this morning on Google News, and I was so disturbed intrigued by the headline from MSNBC "Mom Pleads Guilty of Feeding Kids Beer, Cocaine"  I HAD to read more about it.  Come to find out, it is true.  A mom was spotted feeding beer to her 4 year old and her baby, get this...in a PARK. She was so nonchalant about it, that she deserved to get caught. 

It is just so sad to see all of these dummies out there who have these innocent beings called children, they go and mess them up and then send them to public school so all of the government employed teachers can try and fix their mistakes.  It is one thing if a child is just lazy, but it is a completely different issue when a parent screws them up.  I hate it because some kids are not given a chance at home.  I think that there needs to be a license to procreate. 

here is the story...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44973079/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

The Kid Who Ran For President

Have you ever read this book?  If you haven't, then you need too.  This was one of my favorite books growing up, and I say that because I actually read the whole thing (which says a lot, since I DESPISED reading as a kid).  A brief synopsis of the book is that a 12 year old boy ,named Judson Moon, decides to run for President of the United States.  He is very driven and has his heart and mind set on winning the election.  Throughout the process, he hires a campaign manager, fundraises and speaks to crowds of "a zillion".  Judson knows his end goal and even through the ups and downs, he does not give up.  Now I am not going to tell you the end of the story (so you'll just have to read it on your own), but I will tell you that every kid in America needs to read this book.  This kid is motivated and determined to accomplish his goal.  I wonder what todays classroom would look like if every kid set his mind to school work....

Maybe there would not be as many disruptions...

Maybe kids would actually read....

Maybe I am just dreaming.....

Whatever that ideal classroom looks like, I do not see it.  But, that is why the big guys down the hall hired me!  It is my job to motivate the young minds of America, make them WANT to learn and to set extravagant  goals like Judson Moon!

Now......Just wish me luck! 

S***t My Students Say

So it has been a pretty chill week.

 No school on Monday due to Columbus' so called discovery of the 'New World'. 

Tuesday we took a day to talk about "Yes it is important to write in Social Studies"

Wednesday was the PSAT for 10th and 11th graders.  A day of testing means 0 new material can be taught due to musshy brains. 

Thursday we reviewed for our test

Friday=TEST DAY



So all in all, not a very eventful week.  I did however have a wonderful incident today during my test. 

One little boy of mine decided that he would use someone elses map on the test, after I told him that he could not use a map due to his lack of turning it in.  When I saw that he was cheating, I collected his test, wrote a zero and told him to go into the hallway so we could have  a little 'chat'.  Of course he left class all upset, but I would too if  I got CAUGHT cheating.  Well I got caught cheating on a quiz spring of  my senior year in English, but my teacher let me retake it....thanks Mrs. Dodge....who cares about Hamlet anyway? Anywho, he left class and that was that.  I figured his football coach will punish him (since he also teaches World Geo.) and so will his parents.  But, the poor kid could not cut himself a break.  My dear friend and colleague, informed me that she saw him standing in the hallway the following period for another teacher.  But instead of being punished, the little guy had his hands Super Glued to the Super Glue bottle.  He was shaking and shaking and shaking, trying to get his hands free.  But no such luck.  He had to stay in the hall until he figured out a way to get his hands free.   I sure hope he broke free from that jail of glue!  That kid just could not cut a break!   



S**t My Students Say

Ok so I have not been blogging in a while, and that is because I don't really know what to blog about.  My life includes Work, Sleep, and Work again.  I do have an AMAZING small group now where I vent about life, so after I talk to them, I don't really have much to say anymore.  BUT, I was on the phone with one of my bestites Shannon and she suggested that I blog about all of the crap that my students say, because it's Hilarious!!  So here it is, my weekly Friday post about all of the S**t my students say. 



Student A "I just moved here from Colorado"
Student B "WOW, You lived in AFRICA!  Did you see lions?"

Me "Does anyone know what GDP stands for"
a couple students pondering "Global......Data....Position...."
Student A "Gangstas Disciple People"
Me "Yes, Exactly"

Student A "Ms. R you've got swag, wanna date my cousin?  I really want y'all to get married"
Me "Sure, because every night I dream about being related to my students"
Student A "I know, wouldn't that be awesome!  I could get extra credit!"

Student A "If the United States borders the Gulf of Mexico, then why isn't it the Gulf of America?"
Student B (a mexican) "Because it borders Mexico you fool, and Mexico is better than the US"
Student A "Then why are you here?"

context: I am handing back work
Student A (african american) "Gra-ci-ous"
Me "de nada"
Student A "Huh?"
Student B (hispanic) "It means You're Welcome! If you gunna speak spanish than you might want to learn it!"


Student A "What does 'She was Lebanese mean?'  Does that mean she has a disease?"
Student B "No, that means she was from Lebanon"
Student A "Oh, Ok.  What's that?"

Sometimes I feel like I am teaching her...

Stay tuned for more next week 

Sublime Saturday

Since I couldn't go to the UT v. BYU game today in Austin (because of my crutches) I decided to be a little crafty.  I decided to make my own coffee koozie (aka coffee collar, coffee cozy, Starbucks cardboard thing so you don't burn your hand).  Whatever they are called, I've always wanted one but never wanted to spend $10 it.  Solution....DING DING DING...make one myself.  My mom found a "how to" online, so we studied it, she left for the game, and I crafted it.  It was something fun for me to do while watching the Auburn/Miss. State game, WHICH WE WON!  WAR EAGLE! 


Anywho...I grabbed some scrap fabric, scrap quilting batting and buttons out of our button can and ABRACADABRA 

Coffe Koozie 

Have you ever stepped on a thumb tack?

(Helpful Hint: It is a much better read if you add the dramatic voice)

So Wednesday after work, I decided to help my dad out with making dinner.  My chef duties were to make the bacon, while he made homemade waffles.  Yum, right?!?  Totally; I mean who doesn't like breakfast for dinner?  Well after Mr. Dave ruined the first waffle, I could not stand by an watch.  I had to take matters into my own hands.  Waffle 2, success.  Bacon, perfect.  Now waffle 3 is where it gets tricky. After it was fully cooked to its golden brown potential, I decided to remove it from the iron.  With my left hand, I very carefully try to remove the Waffle and place it on the plate which is held by my right. 

SLOW MOTION

The waffle starts falling to the floor with the iron and plate following.  I try not to loose the waffle, or get burned by the iron and CRASH goes the plate.  I'm startled, so naturally I jump.  BUT WHAT GOES UP MUST COME DOWN...and that would be my barefoot right onto the sharp broken edge of the plate.  BOOM, I hit the floor, foot in hand.  Blood running down my right (and somehow left) leg.  Screams fill the kitchen air with tears streaming down my face (enter curse words here).  Dad runs to get a towel and tells me to sit still while he goes to Walgreens to get band-aids and Peroxide.  (well duh I'm not going to move, I can't walk)  When he gets back, bleeding still hasn't stopped.  I thought of a great idea, "How about that liquid bandage stuff?".  That meant another trip back to Walgreens.  While my sweet father went back to Walgreens, my mom came back home and insisted that I go get stitches.  Well I have never had stitches (even though I have probably needed them many a time), and I did not want to get them this time.  But the pain was unbearable and the bleeding just wouldn't stop, so I gave in.  After trying to figure out all of my new big girl insurance information and finding an ER clinic that was open 24 hours, Dad and I finally go to see the doctor.

Well, we were the only people at the clinic and the night staff was SUPER nice!  This was luxury compared to Auburn's Urgent Care.  The doctor said "YEP, I need stitches" ;so after four shots into the bottom of my foot (enter more curse words) and a tetanus shot, he stitched me right up.  I am now on crutches for 10 days (which totally sucks) and I can't go to Austin for the football game (which sucks even more).  But the good news is, I will have one AWESOME scar on the bottom of my foot!

Oh and if you are wondering why I chose this title for the blog....this hurt WAY more than stepping on a thumb tack...which I too have done many a time.